You’ll never want to book a trip with Guy Martin’s travel agents! CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews the weekend’s TV
Our Guy In Colombia
World On Fire
Going on holiday? You’ll need to get your shots if you’re heading to the tropics — but don’t do it the Guy Martin way.
Investigating cocaine-fuelled crime on Our Guy In Colombia (Ch4), the daredevil explorer donned a designer shirt reinforced with wafer-thin bulletproof armour. Then he invited a gunman to shoot him at point-blank range with a revolver. He even picked his own bullet out of a box, selecting the slug that could kill him.
Guy, who has broken his back twice in motorbike crashes, appears to treat death-defying stunts as a break in the routine of filming.
It was a relatively new experience, after all. ‘I’ve never been shot,’ he pointed out, and then corrected himself: ‘Well, buggering about with pellet guns, yes.’
The sensation was similar to being punched in the stomach, he reported, before ordering a bulletproof leather bike jacket.
Investigating cocaine-fuelled crime on Our Guy In Colombia (Ch4) , the daredevil explorer Guy Martin (pictured) donned a designer shirt reinforced with wafer-thin bulletproof armour
VOCABULARY OF THE WEEKEND!
They might sound like characters from Harry Potter, but ‘tragus’, ‘uvula’ and ‘lunula’ were answers in Ian Wright’s quiz Moneyball (ITV1).
The first is in your ear, the second in your throat and the third on your fingernail. Fancy!
He enjoyed being waterboarded less. As part of the self-defence training compulsory for TV presenters visiting the drugs capital of the world, Guy endured a mock kidnapping. When the masked paramilitary gang threw him into the back of a truck, trussed him and screamed questions in his face, he laughed it off. But being half-drowned was more than even he could take.Whoever his travel agents are, I never want to book a trip with them.
The pace didn’t let up. Guy emphasised that he never does drugs, although the film crew appeared to be on amphetamines: in the first hour of this two-part documentary, he didn’t stay in any one place for more than a few minutes.
In a remote region of the Amazon, he learned the chemical process of extracting cocaine from coca leaves. Back in the city, he met Pablo Escobar’s nephew and toured one of the drugs baron’s houses.
Then he strolled the streets at night, chatting to dealers: the director was clearly hoping he’d get mugged, but it didn’t happen. Next morning, he was flying back into the jungle for commando school training to hunt down bandits.
He enjoyed being waterboarded less. As part of the self-defence training compulsory for TV presenters visiting the drugs capital of the world, Guy endured a mock kidnapping
It all became a blur. Guy informed us that at the height of the gang wars in 1992, when Escobar’s empire was falling apart, the government declared the country to be in an official State of Internal Commotion. After an hour of trying to keep up with Guy, so was I.
The multiple storylines in the wartime epic World On Fire (BBC1) also started to blur as we raced towards the end of 1940.
Last week we left Manchester air-raid warden and ambulance driver Lois (Julia Brown) buried under rubble after a building collapsed. She was trying to rescue an old chap’s false teeth at the time.
The house must have been made of balsa bricks, because she reappeared with just a bandage around her head. One scene later, there was nothing to show for her ordeal but a tiny scratch . . . not even a bruise.
Lois was feeling low, and so was the RAF. The Spitfire pilots hunting Luftwaffe bombers were glum about the whole horrible war business: one of them played mournful Chopin sonatas on the mess room piano, and dashing David (Gregg Sulkin) was scolded by the squadron leader for smiling.
Here’s a suggestion, you chaps — if you don’t keep pausing for moments of quiet reflection during dogfights, you might not get shot down so often.
Last week we left Manchester air-raid warden and ambulance driver Lois (Julia Brown) buried under rubble after a building collapsed. Pictured: Jonah Hauer-King as Harry Chase
But the costumes are marvellous, and there’s always Lesley Manville’s tightly wound widow Robina to cheer us up with a sharp remark. She won’t stand for moodiness: baking is the antidote, she says.
‘Every rock bun at the Women’s Institute bears testimony to a woman’s rage,’ she snapped. That’s the Blitz spirit.
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