Lou Diamond Phillips Nicoles dad was Filipino, but her parents …

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You briefly picture Jessica, a young girl at the time, singing and dancing in front of a Filipino-American family at a party. You are a Filipino-American woman and you have been raising a Filipino boy whom you adopted out of the country. The thoughts of your adopted child, the things you shared, the stories you shared about each other, the laughs you shared. It all seems so surreal, but somehow at the same time so comforting to you. You you are a Filipino-American woman and you have been raising a Filipino boy whom you adopted out of the country. The day came when you finally decided to tell Matt to move into the bedroom. The room was tiny, but there was enough room for Matt to sleep in the same bed as you. He was already sleeping when you arrived and woke up to the sound of you knocking, which is a nice change of pace to the nightly wake-ups you did with Maria. Why cant we have a little family time when Im with you. You ask, putting your head against Matts shoulder. I know, but we could stay up late and watch TV or something. A sinking feeling in your stomach and a wave of dread go through you as you answer. In all the years youve lived here, this is the first time you feel like you might actually fail at being a real mom. Matt and you remain silent as you walk over to the closet, where you pull out your wedding dress. Just as youre about to put it on, you hear the lock click. For the first time in so long, you feel nervous. Even though you felt so much love towards Maria, you know there is no way you could ever bring yourself to throw away the opportunity to have a relationship with another girl. But then, how could you find a way to bring that same love for Maria, so long after her death in an accident. With one last look at Matt, you unzip the top of the dress and walk over to him. He puts his arm around you and you put your arm around him. You kiss him hard on the lips, as a show of affection. Sorry, but Im not ready yet, you say. Lets just go sit in the living room and talk it out, you say. You leave the bedroom, with Matt still looking down.

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