Written by Amy Beecham
How Amanda Seyfried says she became “uncrushable” from rejection – and the big lesson we can learn.
It’s true, there’s no good way to be rejected. Whether it’s a romantic break-up, a fizzled friendship or in the workplace, the tell-tale sting and subsequent sinking feeling hits just as hard, whatever the context.
“The emotional response to rejection is huge, because it’s one of our deepest human fears,” clinical hypnotherapist Marie Fraser previously told Stylist. “We are biologically wired to belong, to be accepted and wanted, it relates back to those ‘survival’ periods of our evolution, and we rely on social groups for our survival.”
However, rejection is also an inevitable part of life, so it’s in our best interests to try and learn to better survive it.
What happens after we get rejected?
Losing out on a promotion, having your ideas shut down and feeling left out of a workplace clique are all common experiences within job rejection, which can often leave our confidence knocked and self-esteem on the ground. As our minds start to race through what it perceives are the reasons why (we’re not good enough, no one really likes us, we don’t have it in us to succeed), we can find ourselves in negative self-talk spirals that ultimately lead to unhelpful ruminating thoughts.
In a recent interview, actor Amanda Seyfried opened up about her experience of “devastating” job rejection and how she used the power of self-belief to overcome it.
“When I meet somebody who’s younger, like in their twenties, and they get rejected… by a job or something like that, it crushes them completely for a minute,” she told Porter. “Nothing can crush me completely, when it comes to work. I’m uncrushable! Not one thing can crush my life, unless it has to do with my family.
“[That’s] not to say that I don’t get hurt in my job,” she continued.I lost out on a big role that I really wanted – [well], I thought I wanted.”
Seyfried previously told Backstage that she had “bent over backwards” for the role of Glinda in the upcoming film adaptation of Wicked, which was ultimately given to Ariana Grande.
Speaking of the impact of being overlooked, she said: “It was devastating, and it wasn’t for any other reason than I really felt like it was right. But that doesn’t take away from my confidence at all.”
“Obviously, being a parent changes your perspective on things, but it’s not just that. It’s finally coming to the point of, it’s OK to be proud of your work. It’s OK to be proud, it’s OK to have confidence – it’s actually really important,” she insisted.
How to cope with job rejection
While rejection can happen in all areas of our life, that doesn’t mean we have to remain at the mercy of it. In the face of a career knock-back, the key to building resilience is reviewing and reflecting. This can be done by asking for detailed feedback in order to get a sense of what happened and how you can learn from it, which will then enable you to create a plan for your personal development.
However, remember to focus on your strengths to build yourself back up before getting back on the horse too quickly. As Seyfried says, confidence is key, so keep your mind open and stay ready for any opportunities that may present themselves.
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