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Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace has emotionally opened up on her fears she wasn't a good enough friend to Nikki Grahame and Sarah Harding before their tragic deaths.
Big Brother legend Nikki passed away in April at the age of 38 after a battle with anorexia, while Girls Aloud singer Sarah passed away from secondary breast cancer last month.
Speaking exclusively to OK! at Tulleys Shocktober Fest, 42 year old Aisleyne has admitted she has recently had to overcome fears she wasn't there enough for her pals.
Fighting back tears, she said: "I've lost two friends [this year], more so Nikki but Sarah as well.
"At the end of last year I lost two male friends, Mick Norcross and another friend who isn’t known publicly. I’ve suffered a lot of loss over the last eight months. Nikki was painful."
She continued: "I wasn’t [looking after my mental health] for a stage, I was struggling with my mental health and anything that was happening was magnified because I was already in a fragile state.
"When you lose a friend you start to question yourself. Was I a good enough friend? Could I have done more?
"Why didn’t I just go in there gung no and rescue her? But you can’t. I’ve just been trying to work through it slowly."
Aisleyne paid tribute to her pal Nikki back in April on what would have been her 39th birthday.
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She wrote on Twitter: "Happy birthday baby girl, too precious and delicate for this cold harsh world, so much vibrance & kindness in one, I know your in a better place still having fun…
"Death is only painful for those of us left, as we miss you and wish you was still here with us, I believe you, and all lost loved ones are in a better place, a kinder more peaceful place…
"Until we meet again, I will miss you…. dearly. I love you darling."
Last month, she posted a heartfelt tribute to Sarah Harding on the day her death was announced by mum Marie.
She wrote on Instagram: "Too beautiful to stay too long…. my heart hurts, but darling, you are hurting no more… no words.
"Rest now, rest and be safe in eternal paradise… goodbye Sarah."
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